Insomnia + internet + at my parents’ house for the holidays.

Drew:

put you in a pine box to chill
cus i time shots to kill
we got nine glocks concealed
running round in a dimed out deville
for your life you signed on the dotted line, dog for real

Chris:

time shots? yo, this ain’t TimeSplitters
all I need is a few e-witnesses
to watch your put nails into your own coffin
or pegs cause your ass is IKEA

FUCKIN’ SWEDISH MEATBALLS

Naomi:

fucking swedish meatballs is all there’ll be left
as you’ll have forfeited your life, your essence— bereft
alas, you have no chance to lament or regret
the time you crossed me and my gang:
bike hipsters, each armed with a polo mallet

Chris:

I see your bicycles and raise you a cyclops
Who’ll eat your bikers without stop
So, put on your helmets and padding
Because he’s got a hunger for more than FUCKIN’ SWEDISH MEATBALLS

Naomi:

that cyclops, he’s toast
because i’m like odysseus, i don’t mean to boast
i have diamond wit and honeyed lips
i’ll blind that giant and take his life
after distracting him with a shake of my hips
as i am quick with my knife

Chris:

your knife is a butter knife, yo
and the toast you mean to spread blood on
has jam all over it instead
so before you put down the bread
consider this: Odysseus didn’t see his home for a while
and the way you’re headed you’ll be miles
under the ground, but not dead, just vile

Naomi:

vile? you may see that as my style
but that is not my flavor, no not at all
in this murder court, i have the ball
the street gods, they love me and answer my call:
bring me more soldiers, let’s finish this once and for all

Chris:

Your soldiers are nothing more than toys
Shiny metal figurines to impress the boys
They threaten me not, because I’ve been shot
By 50 Cent and by golly was it ironic
But, not Alanis Morissette ironic
Because that is more iconic
Perhaps moreso than Mr. Konik himself, dare I say
HAVE A NICE DAY

Ken:

dig dugged it up like retro plastic magic,
1 thing better than 2 bad dudes
should be labeled as a bad chick.
Pulling hat tricks for the citizens; kane
from Rose to Noah and rip to Deng
Named epicenter from ice to court,
Stay high with dubs(wins) at Chicago’s fort!

Naomi:

hey you, what you saying?
those words make no sense
what i’m hearing can be summed up into three sentences:
the first two, gibberish and the last, “chicago represent!”
young man, use your words
don’t waste my time on verbal turds
if you can’t, all i have to say is “go get bent”

Chris:

this is a vent:

watch as it does not try to represent
but, rather it has presents hidden in it
cause y’all’s parents are not creative
and thus baited themselves into being sedative human beings
let’s start a new meme
breakfast

Naomi:

bitch, i love me some pancakes
so delicious and delicate:
i pour my batter real thin, like a crepe
in the kitchen, i have a solid rep
so get your ass in that chair
and eat some fucking breakfast

Chris:

you forgot about cereal
the way you forgot about Dre
but, even though it makes no sense, it’s aight, okay
you’re a bowl of Frosted Flakes anyway
I bet you feel grrrreeeeeaaaaaattt
so, take my advice and don’t hate, accelerate

Naomi:

why would i give you cereal?
you can eat that at home
right here, right now, you be in rome
do as they do, not as they say
i ain’t no hater, i just like to play

Quantity:

It’s tough eating Reese’s puffs every day
every play hail mary
browsing yay, talking dairy
I spit rhymes like thugs punch guts
lines so sick naomi throws up
we are the webmasters and mistresses
disastrous hipster kids
fake glasses and copies of photoshop
mustaches like y’all don’t know how to stop
please call me if you wanna watch Robocop

Naomi:

shit, of course i wanna watch robocop—

i was raised in detroit, land of industrial decay
five years old, roaming the streets
peddling over glass and spent needles
on my neon purple fixie all tricked out
streamers, lisa frank stickers, spoke beads, ching-ching little bell
i be riding that beast, like a bat out of hell
post haste, no delay, it is time to play
ice cream party down at the Y-M-C-A

Chris:

you make it sound like you had it rough
I’m here to say my bike didn’t a bell ding
that’s cause neighborhood crooks stole it
and rode it in front of me every day
instead of YMCA, it was NWA
and you best believe I copped an attitude
because I did not have any gratitude
for the punks that stole my bicycle
I’m ‘bout to go out like Michael